recipe showdown: belgian waffles

It's humiliating.  It's tragic.  It's the decay of Western civilization.
... and I can't stop watching it.

Ever since I heard that little, blond, 4-foot-tall toddler's famous catchphrase"a dollar makes me holler honey boo boo," I've been in love.
She's hyperactive, uninhibited, and foul-mouthed... and I'm kind of obsessed.

But since this is technically a food blog, I should be talking about food, not the "Here Comes Honey Boo Boo."  I did a little research and the Honey Boo Boo clan has some *pretty* interesting dishes.
Have you ever heard of "Sketti"?
Spaghetti, doused with a sauce that is one part margarine, one part ketchup.
However, the most infamous Honey Boo Boo specialty is her "go go juice" -- a secret mix of Mountain Dew and Red Bull that gets her "go go"-ing for her pageants.  If you aren't familiar with "go go juice," click here.  Thank me later.

Anyways, I have my own version of "go go juice."  It's not quite Mountain Dew mixed with Red Bull, but it sure gets me going.  It's my secret weapon that gets me through 6-hour indoor track meets.

Truth is, nothing gets me going like Belgian waffles. 
I could run my little heart out for hours after one of those babies.
This morning was the last meet of the winter season, so obviously Belgian waffles were on the menu.  Since they're my secret weapon, they had to be perfect this time.

What am I looking for in a Belgian waffle?  Something so crispy that you can hear the fork break the crust, yet so tender that the inside is pillowy like cotton candy.  Something that can soak up maple syrup and melty butter while still holding its waffle-y shape.

After comparing a series of very popular and wildly different recipes, I think I found the one.  Aretha Frankensteins' (what a name!) Waffle's of Insane Greatness were spot on. What's your "go go juice"? With love,
Erica
Description
These waffles have a very thick and rich batter that is scooped not poured into the iron.  It has a dense, buttery crumb and the consistency of a light, buttery shortbread cookie.
These waffles are famous in the food blogging community, known simply as “WIG.”  The light batter uses vegetable oil and cornstarch.
Simple, pancake-like batter, with the addition of a whipped egg white.  I used sour cream thinned with ¼ cup milk instead of the buttermilk (which was one of the suggested substitutions). As the title suggests, these are very rich waffles.
A way to modify Bisquick waffle mix in a way that comes “very close to mom’s homemade waffles”
Tasters’ Notes
Very cookie-like
Sugary
Not “fluffy” waffles
Dense
Doesn’t even need syrup
Shortbread
Dessert
Light and airy
Mind-bogglingly crisp exterior
Unique
Toasty
Caramelized
Eggy
Rich
A bit chewy
Soft
soggy?
Traditional
Expected
Not special
Conclusion
More of a cookie than a waffle. Nevertheless, these were delicious. These are perfect for dessert, with syrup and maybe some ice cream
They are curiously light and fluffy on the inside, and have a shatteringly crisp crust. They are also the easiest (come together in one bowl, and no nonsense with egg whites)
These were very soft. They were rich, but had no crunch. Still, they were tasty and tangy, just not, the waffle.
These are tasty if you’re in a rush. But nothing beats homemade, and these aren’t anything special.

Aretha Frankenstein's Waffles of Insane Greatness From Aretha Frankenstein's restaurant in Chattanooga, TN. Ingredients 3/4 cup all-purpose flour
1/4 cup cornstarch
1/2 teaspoon baking powder
1/4 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 cup whole milk or buttermilk (or a combination)
1/3 cup vegetable oil or melted butter
1 egg
1 1/2 teaspoons sugar
3/4 teaspoon vanilla extract
Butter and pure maple syrup, for serving In a medium bowl, combine the flour, cornstarch, baking powder, baking soda, and salt; mix well. Add the milk, vegetable oil, egg, sugar and vanilla and mix well. Let the batter sit for 30 minutes. Heat a waffle iron. Follow the directions on your waffle iron to cook the waffles. Serve immediately with butter and pure maple syrup or hold in a 200 degree oven, directly on the rack (don't stack them or they'll get soggy). These also reheat very well in the toaster.

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